Amedeus
All I can say is wow.This is by far the most interesting Wiki on here. Wiki Führer -Crow You realize there's a comments box at the bottom of the page, right? Smöss Pïrāte -Amedeus Write the text of your article here! *Don't tell me what to do, you goddamn heathen wiki. Amedeus is a bastard dick, and if I ever see him in person I'm going to kick him in the testicles and steal his cat. Amedeus spends most of his time playing video games, mostly on the Xbox 360. He obtains many Microsoft Points and spends them on numerous pointless games. Although whenever he is playing a game online, he normally experiences quite an amount of lag. This is not due to a faulty or crappy internet connection, but this is due to the fact that Amedeus downloads massive amounts of porn. If you took all the porn he has downloaded, and put them onto a physical film reel, the tape would be able to cover the world 5 times, with just the first 5 seconds of every video. But... What Does He Do?? You know, that's what we've been asking since day one. He showed up with promises of a sweet podcast with brother-in-arms Hitalec. After a test episode with many problems, he solved them and promptly started complaining about his laptop and decided that was the end of that... for the time being. Amedeus' history with the Space Monks from that point forth was a rocky one. Every step taken was a step through a minefield. Laced with razorwire. Populated by angry mineproof jaguars. And then drowned in poisonous gas (the jaguars also had gasmasks). No matter what the poor douche did, something would prevent him from achieving the success he so desired. From his laptop breaking, to programs not working, to simply not having the right equipment or people, to growing tired of playing through every single Zelda game after only finishing the first one, it seemed the world was not fond of the idea of people being submitted to this cad on something so vast as the Interwebz. So one day while Amedeus was building a murderbot while balancing on some marbles beside his handy noose which he keeps right underneath the wobbly tub of water and just overtop of the space heater and tesla coil, he had an idea! He could drive to other places and bother a large amount of people that way! He promptly hopped in his car and visited his old buddy, Leus. After filming a new episode of their old show "Mr. Amazing", Amedeus hopped back in the car and hoofed it (it's a Flintstones car!) to Tennessee, almost flying off the road and getting smashed by a tractor trailer on the way (you'll know when I'm joking, and I'm not) because the world wasn't just going to take this insubordination lying down. There, he had the misfortune of coming face-to-face with the SMMS overlord, CK. They proceeded to have many misadventures and create several videos together. Upon return to his home sweet decent place to live I suppose, he was faced with a sudden horror - the overlord had equipped his vehicle with a locater beacon! He was being tracked! Within the next couple weeks, the overlord hunted him down like the feeble prey he was and dragged him (and N1NJ4, for luck) off to a convention they speak of in hushed whispers as... MAGFEST! Here he met several other unfortunate wretches who had been reeled into servitude for this twisted mockery of what we humans call a website. They made many videos and memories together and met quite a few of their heroes in the process. Heroes which would not come to their rescue despite their quite lengthy pleading. During this time, he discovered one of the Space Slaves was a young lad he had gone to educatory prison with - a fellow geek by the name of Crow. Together, they escaped the cruel festival of MAGs (after feeding the MAGs, of course). Returning home, he, Crow, and the master got drunk with another defeated entity from nearby, a chap by the name of AC Kong. It was then that the Maryland Krew was formed, to empower this group of belittled worker ants so that they may one day overthrower their supreme ruler and bring freedom once again to their land of Mary. And so it was that Amedeus, Crow, N1NJ4, and AC Kong became the founding members of the Maryland Krew. Jesus, What? I Asked What He Does for the Site, Not His History. Weren't You Listening, You Moron? I don't have to take this abuse from you. Okay, Sorry. But Seriously. What Does He Do? Oh, well, this and that. He's the caretaker for the forums, and is one of the head boys on this very wiki. He's been trying to get several series started. One about cooking, one about dating, one about graffiti, and one about endings... things are in the works. In the meantime, he's mostly just been popping up in other peoples' videos and the occasional podcast and generally putting off his own projects (2 Guys 1 Cast, The Zelda Journal). Hopefully things will start looking up here, soon. By which I mean, maybe he'll gain some motivation and finish something for once in his rotten life. How to Care for Your New Amedeus Now that you've read a bit about the Amedeus, it's time to learn how to take care of one. Before we begin, I would like to stress: do NOT drown it in the bathtub. While it may seem like a good idea now, you'll find that allowing your Amedeus to die only leaves you a much larger mess to clean up in the long run. The first thing you need to do is to make sure you have a space to keep your Amedeus in. It's fairly easy to please in these regards, so you can make do with a small room if you have to, or decide to treat it to a large one if you can spare the money for one of the better models. Just make sure the room is clean and tidy beforehand. Your Amedeus will quickly make a wreck out of it, but it will be a wreck it is proud of. Your Amedeus will not tolerate anybody else's mess within its own personal mess. Next is furnishing. Your Amedeus will spend 75% of its time laying down, so a bed or couch will be necessary. As will pillows and a blanket. If you plan on providing it with a mate, a bed will be a requirement! Although, in such a case, a bed AND a couch would also be a good purchase decision. While the bed will provide a place for rest, the couch will provide a place for cuddling and movies - two things the Amedeus greatly desires. Which brings us to our next section. Entertaining Your Amedeus Providing entertainment for your Amedeus is a simple - but costly - task. While it doesn't take much to acquire the interest of your Amedeus, it does have a short attention span and craves variety more than anything else. Anything will grip it for some amount of time - a new game, movie, song, comic, occasionally even a book. But you will quickly find it needing more. This is the costliest part of owning and caring for an Amedeus, and should not be considered lightly when deciding if an Amedeus is right for you. In any case, always bear in mind: variety is the spice of life! An Amedeus will sit through anything, even if it knows it to be lousy. All experience is good experience in their twisted little minds. Feeding Your Amedeus Next in order of importance is keeping your Amedeus well-fed. Much like entertainment, it will eat roughly everything. If nothing else, it will at least try anything once - aside from mushrooms, unaltered tomatoes, and olives. Blegh. Grooming Your Amedeus You might as well not even bother, it'll grow back all its hair within the next couple days. A person could go mad trying to keep that mane within the realms of sanity. Just keep its balls neat and call it a day. What Am I Even Doing Anymore What the fuck am I seriously typing at this point, all of this is just getting strange and I'll probably delete it in a week. This is Weird, I'm Leaving Yeah, I don't blame you. Amedeus' Site Appearances Related Porn 011001000111001001110101011011100110101100101110